A lot of moms work. Some of us work to nurture a sense of purpose or passion. Others of us work to make ends meet when there isn’t an alternative. For many mothers working is fulfilling and provides needed income.
Being a working mom is hard. The role of a working mom necessitates that mom juggles responsibilities and identities in two very different worlds, at home and at work. Both worlds have their rewards and their challenges. However, the worlds often know little about each other which makes managing their expectations so difficult. Here are some of the daily challenges that working moms navigate:
1. How to transition back to work after having a child: considering who will take our place as we return to work and our feelings about having to prepare for this change. How will you make the transition to work as a mother who breastfeeds? Pumping, cleaning, storing, remembering to bring home your supply are new responsibilities that you are required to figure out in addition to your emotions.
2. Creating a work/life balance: setting boundaries in professional and personal lives, navigating feelings about missing out while you work.
3. Preparing self and family for a commute to daycare, school, work: are you in a constant state of chaos, survival mode? How often do you have to part with your children crying when you leave or a frustrated teen picking every battle? Do you feel sad and angry towards your kids because time is dwindling before you put on the other hat?
4. Making it to daycare, school, work on time: what is your relationship with time? Are you falling behind, keeping up, or five steps ahead?
5. Finding space to work remotely: do you have a dedicated space to work in your home?
6. Transitions to work while working remotely: how do you prepare to enter into your professional identity and reenter your personal one without the space between them both?
7. Participation at school: are you able to adjust your work schedule to participate in school activities? How do you cope with not having the opportunity to be able to do so because of your professional role?
8. Dependency on and relationship with other caregivers: whether it be with a family member or someone new, how do you establish those work relationships and set boundaries with family members?
9. Partners or support systems who don’t understand your work load or what it entails: in your life is there a disconnect and does it bring up strong emotions or feelings of irritability?
10. Domestic responsibilities: how does it affect your relationship toward your family when domestic responsibilities fall behind? Do you feel that everyone else in your family has time for themselves while you’re buried in endless mundane tasks?
11. Redefining generational norms and expectations of motherhood: changes in the role of “the mother” can make it difficult for older generations to understand or relate to what a working mom’s work/life balance looks like.
12. Identity as a parent and a partner: have you had the opportunity to consider how your relationship has changed since becoming a parent? Does working and parenting leave room for nurturing your relationship with your partner?
13. Guilt: do you spend time socially with others and experience guilt about spending more time away from your kids? It can be hard to identify with other moms who are stay at home moms.
14. Sleep deprivation: do you notice trying to keep up catching up with you? Do you experience anger, irritability, or frustration? Is your work performance affected by your lack of sleep?
With such an exhaustive list, it might be hard to imagine having time to check in with ourselves about how we’re doing as a working mom. Caught up in meeting familial needs and responsibilities, we might not talk about these things to our partners or even have the opportunity to do so. Therapy is a space to reflect and gain insight into how your identity as a working mom affects you. Moms provide endless support to their families, but sometimes moms need a little extra support too.
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