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Learning About Boundaries and How to Set Them with the Help of Therapy

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Learning About Boundaries and How to Set Them with the Help of Therapy

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Learning About Boundaries and How to Set Them with the Help of Therapy

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So, What is a Boundary? 

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In the field of mental health, a boundary refers to setting a limit or a rule in order to feel safe. Setting personal boundaries are important because they can impact our wellbeing. If you’ve ever felt like a “people pleaser” or been “walked over”, taking the step to set a boundary can be a game changer. Boundaries come up a lot when talking about relationship dynamics. Setting personal boundaries in relationships can look like communication about consent in regards to sex and intimacy. Boundaries can pertain to how much of your personal life is shared or contained in your professional life. And boundaries can also be about setting limits for how much time you spend with your family and your family of origin. 

Often people are deterred from setting a boundary because it feels selfish, even uncaring towards the person it’s directed towards. Patterns continue. What can happen when a limit is reached and not listened to are feelings of resentment, anger, avoidance, and distancing. Consider instead, that a boundary could be a means to maintaining and caring for a relationship.

Learning How to Set Boundaries with Therapy

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It can definitely be scary and uncomfortable to set a boundary and interrupt a pattern. However, setting boundaries in your personal or professional life can transform how you participate in the relationship. A therapist can help you understand the intention behind setting a boundary. A therapist or psychologist can walk you through what it might feel like to make a change in your relationship as well as evaluate what it might feel like to not make a change. In therapy, you can learn how to communicate a boundary clearly and succinctly.

Sometimes what we need to communicate to others is difficult to hear. Feedback can be emotional and it can be tempting to step back into the pattern. Learning tools in therapy will support you in being able to tolerate some discomfort in the relationship so that you can work towards change. Gathering the courage to reach out to a therapist is an important step towards setting that boundary and interrupting those patterns that are wearing on you.

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About The Author

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Lauren Pena
LMFT
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