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Heartfelt Therapy: Navigating Emotions During Valentine’s Day

Hearts on a yellow background.

Exploring the Emotional Landscape of Valentine’s Day in Relationships

A lot of paper hearts.

Valentine’s Day can feel like your relationship status is being examined under a microscope. Whether you’re being asked about your dating life, if you’re dating somebody, or if you’re in a committed relationship—it’s a day where your “love life” seems to be put under scrutiny.

The closer examination of where things stand may be triggered by external factors, but the scrutinizing occurs internally. 

If you’re not dating someone, you might experience inner dialogue along the lines of:

  • Why haven’t I found anyone yet?
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • I’m so unattractive.
  • There are so many things wrong with me—of course I’m not dateable.
  • I don’t care.
  • I love being single.
  • No one is good enough for me!

 

If you are dating someone, you might instead be anticipating how you would engage with your partner during the holiday. Thoughts might include:

  • Where should we go?
  • What should we do?
  • Do they even want to celebrate it?
  • I can’t afford anything that would impress them.
  • Gift giving stresses me out, I know I’ll disappoint them.

 

And if you are in a committed relationship. You may wonder:

  • Will they remember?
  • If they don’t remember—do they still care about me?
  • What’s the point?
Holding up a broken heart against a sunset background.

In other words, it can be a day in celebration of your relationship. It can also be a day that brings up self-doubt, loneliness, and sadness. A day that highlights intimate relationships can also punctuate grief and loss for those who have lost their partner or spouse. This holiday can be a marker for what is working or not working in our relationships, or attempts at them. 

Valentine’s day can remind us of what we have or don’t have.

What if there was a person to hold space and talk to about all of this? An unbiased person who doesn’t know you, but is open to learning about you and your goals. A person who is rooting for you to get to where you want to be. A person who will help you gradually look at the most painful areas that you’re avoiding, but now need the most work.

 

Therapy is a Safe Space to Explore Where We Stand in Our Relationships

Building a relationship with a therapist can be insightful into relationship patterns and behaviors. Avoidance, dismissal, rejection, comfort, trust, communication, safety, and more are all integral parts of understanding how you receive and understand relationship dynamics. 

Therapy can be a safe space to explore and interrupt communication patterns. In therapy, this is done with compassion and understanding that these patterns developed overtime and were shaped by your experiences. Find a Therapist that can meet you where you are and support you in reaching your therapy goals.

 

Written by:

Lauren Pena MFT, ATR, LMFT # 130687

lpena.ip@soultenders.com

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